yucca_isnt_porn: (mwaha)
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In the Nevada desert, night is fast approaching over the exquisite scenery. Scenery that as soon as darkness falls, has one Winnebago that wasn't there five seconds ago, parked in some brush and a little ways off the road. It's completely loaded down with gear and for the moment has no license plates.

Date: 2009-06-28 06:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] foxy-l33t.livejournal.com
And even better than no licence plates- a few moments later said Winnebago has a S.E.P.* field surrounding it, and no one's going to be paying any attention to it for the rest of the night.


Mother should not be surprised that Laini has a ninja outfit. Really, now. Ninja outfit, utility belt, and Laini is picking up one of the duffle bags full of goodies to be used on the unsuspecting golf course.



*Someone Else's Problem

Date: 2009-06-28 06:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yucca-isnt-porn.livejournal.com
Mother really isn't, he's amused to hell and back..but really isn't surprised in the least. Before him on the dash are several tackleboxes with gear, and compressed air canisters, and beside him is an over-stuffed backpack.

The headlights flicker on.

"Are you pondering what I'm pondering?"

Date: 2009-06-28 06:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] foxy-l33t.livejournal.com
"I think so, Mother." Laini glances over, grinning. "But how would we get the entire cast of New Kids on the Block to sing opera in the nude at the Met?"

Date: 2009-06-28 06:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yucca-isnt-porn.livejournal.com
.
.
.

Mother is not groaning, but just giving Laini a long look. "Not that...I'm pondering how lovely the country side is...even before we start a radical landscaping renovation project, the likes of which has never been seen before, and likely never again in this part of the country, a slew of pranks the likes of which will cost Black Mesa golfcourse millions of dollars in repairs, thus saving the world from an alien invasion which kills people's sex drives!"

"...it's a wonderful day to be alive."

Date: 2009-06-28 07:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] foxy-l33t.livejournal.com
"I think saving the world's sex drive is a cause I can rightfully get behind." Laini nods sagely, then grins.

"We have inflatable porn animals, foam insulation, explosives, a gross of condoms, ten pounds of silly putty infested with nanites, a load of stink bombs and exploding dye packs, random assorted timers and other techie bits..." She sorts through a few boxes, then sits back up, fiddling with a water gun loaded with florecent die.

"It's six miles from Black Mesa. The sun's going down. We've got Pink Floyd on the radio, and we've got a mission."

Date: 2009-06-28 07:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yucca-isnt-porn.livejournal.com
"Hit it."

VRRRRRRRRrrrrrnnrrrrmmmmm....

Tires squeal a moment before gas leads to acceleration and momentum...and nothing standing between them and their goal.

Several minutes later, the skies above Black Mesa begin to glow from the smoke and the fire.

Date: 2009-07-02 06:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yucca-isnt-porn.livejournal.com
The grey light of pre-dawn is slowly creeping up over the landscape of Nevada...

...and the expanse of utter chaos and carnage that used to be a golf resort is rapidly fading in the distance behind an RV speeding onto the highway.

"AHAHAHAHA!"

Date: 2009-07-03 03:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] foxy-l33t.livejournal.com
Laini is sprawled across the passenger seat, laughing so hard she's nearly crying.

She may also be holding a digital camera, but right now she needs NOTHING to refresh her memory as to what she and Mother just pulled off.

"The tentacles! The look on that guy's face! And the- the-" Laini motions vaguely with her hands. It could be interpreted as any one of a dozen things they just did tonight.

Date: 2009-07-03 03:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yucca-isnt-porn.livejournal.com
"Were you able to record the screams as the toilets barfed water and started demanding souls?" There is a gleam in Mother's eyes...he just about laughed himself out when the screams of what the hell came from the inflatable love petting zoo hole.

"We brought whole new meanings to the term 'water hazard'."

Date: 2009-07-03 03:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] foxy-l33t.livejournal.com
"Some of them hit up in ranges usually only heard by bats and dogs- but yes, I recorded the screams." Laini grins wickedly. "Everything's down for prosterity, m'dear, even the-"

She pauses, ears perking.

And cue a moment of scrambling around in the chair so she can peer out the side window.

"...er. Um. Authorities usually use red and blue flashing lights on their cars, yes?"

Date: 2009-07-03 03:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yucca-isnt-porn.livejournal.com
"...yes, they do." Waaaaary glance in the rearview mirror.

"Laini?"

Date: 2009-07-03 03:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] foxy-l33t.livejournal.com
Laini turns back to give Mother a too-bright grin.

"It seems we've attracted some official attention with our tiny lil' prank."

Date: 2009-07-03 04:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yucca-isnt-porn.livejournal.com
"How could we? The people at the golf course never even saw the RV leaving, I know! I was watching them!" Mother exclaims. "Shit! Hide the leftovers!"

Date: 2009-07-03 04:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] foxy-l33t.livejournal.com
"Well, they didn't see us! We weren't their problem." Laini scrambles out of her seat, heading for the back of the RV.

"The trick is, we were Someone Else's Problem. And I'm guessing the cops here have figured that we're their problem. See how it works? Or shall I draw a chart?"

There's not a lot of space to hide things on an RV. Laini's had a lot of experience in making various things fit into small spaces, though. With maybe a touch of magic to make the whole thing somewhat plausible.

Date: 2009-07-03 04:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yucca-isnt-porn.livejournal.com
Mother is not so much paying attention to what Laini is doing right now. He is looking out the rear view window and panicking, slowing down and pulling over to the side of the road.

"I see how it works just fine, you could've told me that before I started driving 30 miles over the limit without any license plates on!"

Date: 2009-07-03 04:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] foxy-l33t.livejournal.com
"-And I know the traffic laws here on this world exactly how??" Laini rolls her eyes, and shoves another box into a cupboard.

"Can't you outrun them?"

Date: 2009-07-03 04:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yucca-isnt-porn.livejournal.com
"I'm in a Winnebago, they're in Buicks. They'd outrun me in any sort of chase, this can get 90-100 miles per hour on a good day..their cars can get 150."

Outrunning them is NOT an option.

At least the RV is looking more normal. ...And they used up all the explosives.

And mother burned all the rubber gloves he used.

"Ohcrapohcrapohcrap, it's definitely us, they're pulling over too..."

Date: 2009-07-03 05:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] foxy-l33t.livejournal.com
Laini peers out a back window, then gives Mother a sheepish smile.

"Y'know? I think this is a good point for me to say, you'll need someone on the outside. ... Trust me."

And that sheepish smile stays for a little longer, while everything else of Laini fades out.

Date: 2009-07-03 05:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yucca-isnt-porn.livejournal.com
"...Laini? LAINI!!!"

This is Mother's imminent panic attack.

"SIR! open the doors!" And just as Laini's gone...there is the noise of people banging on doors.

"...aw, slag..."

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