yucca_isnt_porn: (do not want)
[personal profile] yucca_isnt_porn
After Laini bailed on him in the RV, it was just one long event with Utah's po po. The condoms and explosives? Totally circumstantial evidence, much though the cops try to wrangle him otherwise. Even the inflatible sheep could've been that.

He's just being held on the grounds that he was driving without license plates, and they need to see if he really DOES own that Winnabago. That's the official reason.


------------------------------

"What's the VIN number register to?"

"One Darryl Roskow, resident of San Francisco."

"Any priors?"

"Several counts of trespassing, disturbing the piece, felony mischeif, ...one grand theft auto, breaking and entering, and transportation of stolen goods, filed by a college professor."

"...run that last one by me again?"

------------------------------

Mother has not been a happy little prankster since his partner left him to hang. He's lucky they didn't throw him into the cells with the crotch-biters and maniacs, but into a seperate holding cell after they tried interrogating him. The looks on their faces at him attempting to explain the prank on the dean was priceless though, for what little that was worth.
-----------------------------

"Okay, run this by me one last time. You have a prior of grand theft auto for..."

"For taking apart the dean's car and rebuilding it in his office."

"...do I want to know why?"

"He cancelled the engineer's gadget battles and movie night."

"...And you thought this was funny?"

"No, I thought the guys who thought it up were brilliant. I was just look out."

"..."

"I owed one of them fifty bucks for losing a gadget battle."
----------------------------

Maybe they just didn't want him giving the others ideas.

----------------------------

"You'll stay in here until we get this sorted out. No funny business."

----------------------------

Really, who would have thought jail would be so boring? There was nothing to do now but stare at the ceiling and play out possible explanations while laying on the cot in the cell.

Date: 2009-07-09 05:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] foxy-l33t.livejournal.com
Sorry, Mother. But Laini did have a few things to set up (http://foxy-l33t.livejournal.com/26622.html) before she was ready to attempt this.

Also- well, it may be trite, but there are less people around in the middle of the night, making jail breaks and other mayhem much easier to pull off.

Specially since the security in the station is not high tech enough for Laini to pull off this whole thing with her laptop. Drat it.

So, sometime around midnight, one of the officers coming in from the parking lot gets an invisable shadow following him into the station.

Date: 2009-07-10 02:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yucca-isnt-porn.livejournal.com
"Hey Lloyd, any of those fritters left that your wife made?" Oblivious officer is certainly not noticing a shadow that isn't there. Our buddy Dave here, if his nametag is anything to go by, wasn't trained to deal with magic ninjas.

"Check the fridge in the breakroom, I don't know how many are left." Lloyd isn't looking up from his paperwork right now...and from the look of it, it's paperwork that has absolutely nothing to do with Darryl Roskow.

At this time of the night, there's about nine policemen total in the building, and it's an even bet a third of them are in the breakrooms.

Date: 2009-07-10 05:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] foxy-l33t.livejournal.com
It's a pity- hardly anyone is trained to handle magic ninjas these days.


Now, in another world/time, odds are Laini would do some doctoring of whatever coffee/drink was being served in the break room, and that would take care of a good many of the police officers without her having to do anything else. However-

The goal here is absolute ninja-ness. In, out, all records and traces gone as if they never existed. This includes Mother as well- and it does not include doctoring the coffee and dealing with either corpses or drug tests leaving behind evidence.

So, you're lucking out tonight, Black Mesa's Finest.

Lloyd doesn't have anything on his desk concerning Darryl Roskow, a Winnabago, or a certain golf course. But there are plenty of other desks, and Laini starts going over them one by one- empty ones first, surrounding it with an illusion and null-sound zone so no one has a clue she's searching the place.

Date: 2009-07-15 03:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yucca-isnt-porn.livejournal.com
Plenty of other desks.

It's just Laini's luck though that one of the two desks with paperwork regarding the golf course, a Winnabago, and Darryl Roskow is occupied by a Barret T. Lirice. And Mr. Lirice there looks like a stickler for the rules, and not leaving his desk, if the size of his coffee mug is anything to go by.

Or the size of that bottle of whiskey he keeps hidden, which he is taking a slug from in a moment.

"Hey Peabody, what kind of felony charge would be appropriate for rigging the toilets to scream bloody murder?"

"....hell if I know."

"...Pete better get back from the bathroom soon....Christ, did he fall asleep in there?"

Date: 2009-07-20 04:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] foxy-l33t.livejournal.com
Laini would have no arguments if they all fell asleep- in the bathroom or wherever they pleased. However, cops and coffee are a tradition even longer standing than her own-

But she has just the thing to deal with that, as she continues to scope out the place. Each cup of coffee on a desk with a cop in attendance gets a few drops added in from a vial Laini slips from her belt. Nothing poisonous, nothing that would show up in a tox screen or drug test-

Just a little something that removes the caffiene from each cup (horrors!) and adds a healthy dose of tryptophan. Certainly won't be knocking anyone out, but sleepy, dozing cops are much easier to deal with than awake, hyper ones.

If she wasn't doing her best to keep silent, Laini would be humming as she heads to the break room to dump the rest of the vial into the pot of coffee located there.

Now, where were the holding cells...

Date: 2009-07-20 05:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yucca-isnt-porn.livejournal.com
They certainly will be easier to deal with. These guys depend on the caffeine to get through the night shift. When they crash from the lack of caffeine it will be a very tired night in the jailhouse.

Farther back along the corridor, well past the interrogation rooms, but not far enough back to be in with the jail cells. And from the familiar smell in the air...

Black Mesa's Finest have discovered that Mother and onions should not be allowed to coexist in the same room.

Date: 2009-07-20 06:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] foxy-l33t.livejournal.com
... Again, it is a lovely thing to be a shapeshifter. Specially if it means toning down your own sense of smell.

Laini rolls her eyes cheerfully, and pulls out her PDA to make sure the programs she's running are still going-

And to trigger the one for the cameras in this hallway, and in Mother's cell. If the cops are watching closely, they are being treated to a well timed repeating loop of.... nothing happening.

As for the keypad lock on the door, there are more than a few ways of getting past those things.

(One is simply kicking the door in.)

The way Laini uses, however- is a bit of tracing/tracking magic, and then going over the possible combinations of the numbers while blocking any alerts for too many failed attempts. ... The combination is not 1-2-3-4, alas.

It is 4-3-2-1.

(Someone should change the combination lock on the luggage, now.)

She carefully closes the door behind her, jabbing a thickly folded piece of paper (taken from a random desk back in the bullpen) into the door frame by the hinges to keep it from closing all the way. Then Laini tiptoes over to where Mother is conked out, exhausted, on the holding cell's small cot.

"Wakey wakey! Easy and quietly..." Softly, as she shakes him- one hand ready to clap over his mouth if needed.

Date: 2009-07-20 06:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yucca-isnt-porn.livejournal.com
...Laini's probably never snuck up on Mother before.

He's a conspiracy theorist. It comes as no surprise to anyone that his first move upon being shaken awake is to flail around and squeal like a terrified little girl-squid!

"AIIG-" And there's a hand on the mouth.

Blink. Blink.

Date: 2009-07-20 06:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] foxy-l33t.livejournal.com
"Shhhhhhh."

Even better, there's an invisable hand on his mouth.

"Told you it would be better if you had someone on the outside."

Laini's voice sounds very incredibly smug.

"Now, while I do have the cameras fixed, loud noices just might have Deputy Fife come and have a look-see, and we don't want that. Nod if you understand and aren't going to keep screaming, ok?"

Date: 2009-07-20 06:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yucca-isnt-porn.livejournal.com
...From the expression on Mother's face right now, there are a lot of choice curses coming to mind. He nods, and for added emphasis, is doing some fast talking in American Sign Language.

...Someday, Laini will probably want to know where he picked that phrase up.

"I can do quiet. I like quiet, if it means getting out of here."

Date: 2009-07-20 06:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] foxy-l33t.livejournal.com
"Oh, it does."

Laini is winking, though, being invisable ruins the effect.

Mother finds the set of RV keys being pressed into his hand.

"Slip those into a pocket. Now, as for this-"

And that feels like one of her many, little gadgets, about the size of a car alarm.

"This sets up an invisability field around you that I don't have to operate myself. Press the button, and it starts, with about fifteen minutes worth of charge. You can turn it on and off, but still, only fifteen minutes no matter how you break it up. With me so far?"

Date: 2009-07-31 03:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yucca-isnt-porn.livejournal.com
"Fifteen minutes total, no more," Mother repeats quietly, tucking the keys into his front jeans pocket. He'd say that he doesn't look that stupid, but which one of them is getting busted out of jail here?

"Get back to the RV asap?"

Date: 2009-07-31 04:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] foxy-l33t.livejournal.com
"Exactly." Laini is beaming- but Mother's hand also gets a reassuring squeeze.

"While I finish things here, so when they wake up, this is all going to seem like a bad dream for our boys in blue. Totally a bad dream, with no proof at all that you were ever here. Which... would be a good thing, I think?"

It certainly means that Laini didn't break of promise of keeping Mother out of trouble, if she can do so!

"The gate to the impound yard should be unlocked. I'll be giving you... forty minutes? About. To get out there and in the RV, before I start on the things in here."

Date: 2009-08-08 05:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yucca-isnt-porn.livejournal.com
"Forty minutes to get out there...fifteen minutes on the invisibility." Mother repeats..grinning.

That seems doable. He'd have to run like a mad bastard once outside of the building....but you gotta do what you gotta do. One glance to the door, before glancing at Laini.

"...whenever you're ready to let me up."

Date: 2009-08-23 05:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] foxy-l33t.livejournal.com
Laini chuckles quietly, and lets go of Mother. "Don't go too fast, as I'll be right behind you 'til we get to the main office area."

She pulls a leaf out from a pocket, and it visually appears in midair. "Got one little trick here to make sure you stay on their security cameras for a while."

Date: 2009-08-23 07:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yucca-isnt-porn.livejournal.com
Mother is not gleeing, mother is not going to glee at Laini because that would in fact waste precious time.

"Heading out in three, two..one."

Out the door at a fast sneaking trot down the hall, quick enough to make good time between using the little invisibility gadget, and coming up to the Main Office area.

Now what?

Date: 2009-08-30 03:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] foxy-l33t.livejournal.com
As soon as Mother is off the cot, she tosses the leaf down on it. (From one of the landscape plants outside, it shouldn't cause any comment if found or noticed.) The air shimmers, and an illusion of Mother laying down asleep springs into place.

And then Laini is hot on Mother's heels down the hallway, at least until the breakroom. Time to peer in on some of the boys in blue-

Who seem to be all pouring themselves fresh cups of coffee as if their consciousness depended on it- but they won't get any help there.


As for Mother, well. He may be invisable, but his ability to sneak out may be dependant on exactly how long ago those onion rings were...

Date: 2009-09-09 05:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yucca-isnt-porn.livejournal.com
The problem is...

...they weren't nearly long enough ago. Thankfully it's truly a ninja air.

Silent, but deadly.

"Jesus CHRIST Dale...I told you to lay off the pickled brussel sprouts!"

Date: 2009-09-09 06:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] foxy-l33t.livejournal.com
Yeah. Laini is very glad for selective senses right now.

She keeps a careful eye on Mother, (invisable to normal sight doesn't mean invisable to her), but the bane of any invisable person? Is a closed door. Her Fox ears can hear him figiting for a few minutes by the front door until a new uniform and totally pickled drunk make their entrance. If the door catches and pauses for a moment before it shuts all the way? Laini was the only one in the place who noticed.

The moment Mother's out the front door, she starts watching the clock.

Roughly thirty-six minutes until things go down.

In that time, she keeps watch on Mr. Deputy Lirice at his desk with his Black Mesa Incident paperwork, with his constant refills of sneakily decaffienated coffee.

Date: 2009-09-09 06:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yucca-isnt-porn.livejournal.com
Another ten minutes tick by...and it's by that time that Mother gets to the RV and manages to get inside before the batteries on his invisibility die out with a sputter.

It's also another two coffee refills for various members of Black Mesa's finest. And that whiskey and Tryptophan laced coffee is starting to have one effect on Mr. Lirice.

He is not a man in possession of a magic fairy bladder, and so far he's had eight cups of coffee tonight. So what if he staggers a little to the bathroom? The other guy joke that it's likely because his ass went numb from sitting so long.

Date: 2009-09-09 06:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] foxy-l33t.livejournal.com
If anyone could see Laini's smile right now, it's the sort of wicked innocent grin that would be sending anyone sane and with good sense into a cold sweat.

Good thing no one can see it.

She wanders after Deputy Lirice into the bathroom. Not only does the poor deputy not have a magical fairy bladder, all that coffee is causing a Code: Brown, so the urinals get passed and he makes his way into one of the stalls.

Laini waits a considerate amount of time, pulling out her newest gadget (the size of a car alarm key chain, with a red button and finger guard), before kicking the stall door open.

Deputy Lirice never knew what hit him.* Poor guy must have fallen asleep on the john, and will later wake up with a killer hangover headache.

At least, that's the logical explaination. (And Laini double-checks for a pulse before she shuts the stall door behind her and carefully slips out of the bathroom.)

Now on to the break room and the next trick. What sort of distraction would cause just enough chaos but not too much panic as to make the cops want to evacuate the building?

Why, a small, sparking electrical fire caused by the microwave. Lots of smoke, a bit of running around and raised voices, but cops don't tend to panic overly much with something this mundane. Quick use of a fire extinguisher keeps it from spreading-

Not that Laini stays around to witness that part. She's already moving through the main room, swinging by a couple particular desks and grabbing any and all hard copy files pertaining to a Darryl Roskow, Black Mesa, and a Winnabago.

Most of the cops are playing lookie-loo in the breakroom, bemoaning the now-deceased microwave. The only one that isn't has his hands full with the drunk, who is now seeing things and talking about a sexy black shadow walking out the Front Door.

Woe, the dangers of drinking too much.



*Actually, nothing did. Gadget: SLEDGEHAMMER uses a carefully aimed sonic blast to render a target unconscious. Careful programming muffles the actual noise, rendering it a discreet tool to be used by the more discriminating wannabe ninja.

Date: 2009-09-09 08:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yucca-isnt-porn.livejournal.com
Mother already has the engine idling by the time Laini creeps in through the door. Forty minutes is a long time to wait sitting on the edge of the seat, when you've barely had 3 hours of sleep all day.

Her favorite conspiracy theorist is barely on, as a bit worse than the events at the biker bar earlier. And he's really wishing he'd nabbed some of that coffee that those guys were drinking.

Luck would have it he didn't, and he doesn't know how lucky he got.

"Got all the hard copy?"

Date: 2009-09-10 06:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] foxy-l33t.livejournal.com
Beaming, Laini drops the stack of files and papers on the passenger seat. "Every single last post-it- and my little buddies back there will have eaten every single applicable file on their computers, so-"

She waves her fingers in the air. "Just all a bad dream for our boys in blue. And when we get far enough away- this should make a rather nice bonfire, if you don't feel like keeping it as a souvenier." Laini winks, and steps back down from the Winnabago.

"I'll shut the gate behind you- just don't forget to, y'know. Actually stop and wait so I can get back on!"

She's awake enough!

Laini thought the whole evening was a blast, anyways.

Date: 2009-09-12 01:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yucca-isnt-porn.livejournal.com
For a quiet moment, before he pulls the Winnebago away, Mother is just eyeing the stack of papers, as if calculating something.

"There's not enough there for a proper bonfire."

With that the beast of a vehicle gets shifted into gear.

"Right, I'll meet you outside and we'll have to stop to get the license plates put back on. We don't want to get picked up for the same problem twice."

Date: 2009-09-12 02:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] foxy-l33t.livejournal.com
"And I got a program to disguise the Winnabago so it won't get a second look, if the cops send out the word to the surrounding juridictions to watch out for it." Laini grins. "All tails covered, Mother."

She tosses off a salute, shuts the door, and runs off for the gate to the impound lot.

Funny, the guy at the security shack by the gate already seems deep asleep. Odds are an RV driving by isn't going to do much to change that.

Date: 2009-09-12 02:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yucca-isnt-porn.livejournal.com
.

.

.

You know, he's just not going to question a damn thing now if it gets him out of here with no evidence trail. It's a good ten miles down the road after the precinct that Mother pulls the RV over to put on the license plates again.

GIHM-93.

"Alright, License plates are on...we obey all traffic signs from here on out, especially the speed limit."

Date: 2009-09-12 02:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] foxy-l33t.livejournal.com
Laini's sitting in the passenger seat, feet up on the dashboard, cradling her laptop on her stomach.

"And, give any cops you see a good ol' boy trucker wave, because if this works correctly-"

She starts tapping a few more keys.

"That's exactly what they'll see." She looks up and grins at Mother. "Got a color preference?"

Date: 2009-09-12 02:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yucca-isnt-porn.livejournal.com
.

.

.

Mother did not just see Laini turn his RV into a semi-truck with a trailer...
.

.

.

"Red truck, blue trailer."

Date: 2009-09-12 03:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] foxy-l33t.livejournal.com
"Got it." A few clicks of the keyboard later-



Let's just not mention this to some certain robotic lifeforms at Milliways, shall we?

"Ready to continue getting the hell out of Dodge, Mother?"

Date: 2009-09-12 03:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yucca-isnt-porn.livejournal.com
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

"Continuing getting the hell out of Black Mesa. It's been a swell, but the swelling's gone down now."

With a couple of tabs of Trucker's Choice and a bottle of water from the fridge, one Darryl 'Mother' Roskow is ever so happy to be leaving the fine fine state of New Mexico at the top legal speed.

Deputy Stiles will never be living down his embarassment on the can. Not when his coworkers have polaroids to prove it.

And no one recalls why the call was made to the golfcourse about a perp...

But that's the story of the drunk who saw the sexy black shadow sneaking out, with no one the wiser.

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